


30 days of YutoYama

by semikusa



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Genderswap, Multi, Parenthood, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-05 10:59:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semikusa/pseuds/semikusa
Summary: A 30-day challenge of ficlets! Since I'm slacking off in my longer series, I'll  (try to) make these short fics everyday!





	1. Touch

Yamada recalls all those nights, on the white sheets, trembling under the touch of Yuto. His fingers trace his jaw, his spine, his chest, his thighs, his everything. His touch feels like fire dancing on his skin, burning him and blazing trails on his cold white skin. Each touch kindles him, making his blood boil with excitement. They scorch him, making his skin ache under his touch, yet he begs for more. 

 

Sometimes, his touch is gentle, filling his heart with warmth. He intertwines his fingers with him and it happens all too smoothly that it's almost perfect. Even if with a slight touch of their fingertips, he can feel the beating of his heart; the heart which beats for him. These touches provide him security. His touches linger on his face while he tells him that he loves him. His hold is strong enough that tells him that he will stay and won't ever let go. 

 

Lost in his thoughts, Yamada does not notice that Yuto had been calling for him for the past minute.

 

"Yamada! Are you okay? You've been spacing out for almost five minutes already." Yuto says worriedly.

 

Yamada stands up in a frenzy, hoping that Yuto did not hear any of his thoughts or notice how he was already getting uncomfortable in his clothes. Yuto still worried about him reaches over to rest his hand on his shoulder and look at him in the eye. His touch sends an electric shock through his body, turning his blood hot and he responds accordingly. He pulls away too forcefully from his touch which shocks Yuto. He stares back at him in disbelief. Before Yuto can apologize and ask again, Yamada spits out,

 

"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling good today," before he rushes to the bathroom and locks himself in a cubicle. 

 

He cannot be feeling these kinds of emotions in the workplace. It was downright appropriate and he, out of all people should understand that. But how much his body aches for Yuto's touch, how he wishes for Yuto to drive him crazy once again, he cannot hold it in. He breathes heavily under all these impure thoughts going in his head. Why couldn't he be a sane person and think about his priorities? He groans in frustration and slams his head against the wall of the cubicle. He walks out to run his face with cold water, hopefully clearing his thoughts. Just when he thought he was finally about to let go, Yuto enters and walks over to him.

 

Yamada backs away a little, afraid of his thoughts spilling out, embarrassing himself. Yet his body grew hot once Yuto slowly moved forward to close their distance. Before he can react anymore, Yuto grabs his wrist and pulls him into a hug. No words come out, but his hold is enough. The warmth Yamada needed and longed for was here once again, and he held him a bit too tightly, making Yuto lose a little of his breath. He has been craving his touch for how many days now, and his heart grew full once he had received it again. Yuto pulled away to kiss him, almost too passionately. It was as if Yuto had been aching for him too, hungrily kissing him over and over again. He grazes his teeth on his lips, emitting a soft sigh from Yamada. Yamada fists his shirt and clings to him like there was no tomorrow.

 

He didn't know when would be the next time he would let Yuto let go of him again.


	2. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He always wished for him to stay, but he never had the courage to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, real life has caught up with me and I'm incredibly swamped! But I promise to never give up on this. I hope you enjoy!

Yamada calls him up because he's lonely. Obviously, he's the first one he calls because he misses him greatly. He comes over in no time, bringing in food to eat. They cook together, play some games, tell stories and simply enjoy each other's company. It feels almost perfect, almost good enough to be true. Maybe he leans in to kiss his nose or his head, but that's all.

There's nothing beyond that. Even if he wanted more, he couldn't ask.

Not even to stay.

Yuto calls it a night and leaves him all alone again.

  
This time, Yamada is almost broken. He's completely stressed at his breaking point, and he can't help crying and almost breaking his things. He feels so alone once again but he remembers that Yuto is still there, waiting for him. And so, he calls again.

He comes in no time and brings all his favorite foods. This time, he doesn't go and prepare anything. He just comes over to his room and takes him into his embrace. Yamada cries into his chest, fisting his shirt. Even if the pain in his heart was still so heavy, Yuto is here with him, holding him tightly, telling him that he'll be alright. He chokes in between sobs and his eyes are hot.

Yuto runs his fingers in his hair, rubbing his back soothingly. He coos at him and kisses his head a couple of times, leaning his head on his. Yamada calms down but he holds him as tight as a while ago. He doesn't want him to let go despite his insistence. He stays.

But not for long.

Yuto is tired too and calls in for the night.

Again, he never mustered the words,

_Stay._

  
Another time, he calls him in, craving for his touch. His breath hitches through the call and Yuto immediately recognizes what he means. Yuto comes in no time once more and pushes him down almost forcefully, attacking him neck. He almost rips through his clothes, almost too excited for him. Yamada arches his back at his sudden touches, sending electric shocks all over his body. Yuto ravages his body greedily, making Yamada moan in pleasure. He sighs over and over again, and Yuto makes him feel good everywhere.

Even if it was a good night for them, once again Yamada only mouths the words,

_Stay._

But he is only breathless and wet on his bed, upset at the lack of warmth of his bed.

  
Next time, he simply calls him out of nowhere, for no reason. Yuto simply comes out of curiosity, and simply looks at him confusingly, not knowing what was on his mind.

He approaches him cautiously but nothing happens. He doesn't jump for joy, he's not crying his heart out, he's not hungry for his taste. He simply stares at him in the eyes.

And Yamada finally mustering the words,

"Stay."

 

  
He doesn't leave this time.

 


	3. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto tries cooking for Yamada again. It doesn't work out well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry again it's late. I promise to post more today. I'm sorry it's a bit short though. (It's a good thing I'm not hungover.)

Yamada comes home to the smell of burnt cooking. He knows what's up. He immediately drops the shopping bags and runs to the kitchen in a frenzy, hoping nothing is on fire.

"It's probably Yuto trying to cook again. That idiot!" he thinks to himself. And true enough, Yuto is frantic, looking for a way to put out the fire. Yamada immediately shuts off the stove, putting out the fire and sighs in relief.

"You don't know how to turn off the stove?!", he scolded.

Yuto averts his gaze and pouts. "Sorry... I just wanted to cook for once..."

"But all those times you 'tried', it never worked out, didn't it?! You know almost nothing about cooking!" Yamada massages his temples, trying not to get any madder.  
Yuto kisses him apologetically and Yamada gets slightly surprised. He hits Yuto on the head and Yuto whimpers in response, but he doesn't deny his happiness. He proceeds to clean up after his mess and Yuto helps him.

Yamada ends up cooking for him, again, and Yuto is on the couch, wallowing in his failure. Yamada peers over him and chuckled while shaking his head. He's such a sore loser, he thinks to himself. He brings his piping-hot fried rice and broiled pork. Yuto heads over the table feeling dejected and slumps in his chair. Yamada sighs and looks at him, sitting across him.

"It's okay. I'm not mad, Yuto."

"But...! No matter what I do, I never do it right... I'm so useless." He mutters under his breath.

"I don't see it as a problem, you know? _You're great at so many other things_. You don't have to be great at everything. And besides, if you're good at cooking, then what happens to me?" Yamada chuckles and Yuto musters a small smile.

"I guess we really complement each other, don't we?" He proceeds to eat heartily, enjoying every single bite.

"It's so good! I could eat this every day." Yuto beams.

"Well, you're going to, whether you like it or not." Yamada smiles back at him.

 

_They're fine like this._


	4. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A love not enough; empty.

Yamada was stuck in a paradox, an abyss. No matter how much he loved Yuto, it was not enough. It was never enough.  
  
His words were laced with poison. It cut him mercilessly, letting him bleed it all out. His kisses tasted like acid. His touches burnt his skin. His presence suffocated him. It was like drowning in a pool of darkness, only accompanied by loneliness and silence. No matter how loud his heart cried, he was never heard. His love was not bittersweet; it was completely bitter all the way to the aftertaste.  
  
Oh, how many nights Yamada cried himself to sleep, sobbing loudly, holding such a heavy burden in his heart. For all those times Yuto chose him to ease his loneliness and frustrations, then left him after he was done. He would see Yuto choose to be with people who loved him lesser than he did. How Yuto never cared for what he felt. For how many times he denied of himself of his own wants and happiness and only settled for Yuto's presence. He never asked for more, even if he desired to. His heart, hollow, for only Yuto, kept taking and never have back. How many times he was used, bruised and beaten, left to rot, was countless. He let himself be destroyed by Yuto. He had been mercilessly torn apart and felt to pick up after himself. He only stayed until he was satisfied. He let Yuto come crawling back each time, welcoming him the same way every time. Yamada who lost himself in his love for Yuto. And the Yuto who never loved him back.  
  
Yamada deserved better. Yamada who gave his everything and was given nothing but pain and suffering had all the reasons to leave.  
  
But he just needed one reason to stay.  
  


_So he did._


End file.
